Even if you’re not depressed. Even if you’re leading a happy and contented life, have you ever given any real thought as to what we basically need as humans? If you’re like me, until I started thinking about this article, none at all.
But the point is, that without fulfiling these needs, we’re not giving ourselves a fair crack of the whip. We’re not living a well rounded, satisfying life. So let’s have a look and see what helps to make us satisfied and happy human beings.
1. We need to know that one other person accepts us, whatever our faults. Someone we can turn to when necessary.
2. Freedom. Most important. Freedom to make our own decisions. Communism took that away from people, until they became virtual automatons.
3. Security. Somewhere safe to live so that we can carry on with what we have to do without constantly looking over our shoulders.
4. The freedom to stretch ourselves, spread our wings a bit, see what we may accomplish.
5. The freedom to be private, to be on our own if we so wish.
6. A sense of achievement. “Yes, I did well in that.”
If you’re a social person, you’d want to feel that you have a sense of respect from other members of your group.
But reading the six main needs back, have you noticed how many times I’ve used the word ‘freedom’? I mean, you may not be a terribly social person, but you should have the freedom not to be social if you so desire.
A leading cause of depression is thinking too much about the past. Yes, I know what I said. Of course you have the freedom to think about the past, if you so wish, but it really doesn’t do you any good. Unless there’s something in the past that was a particularly good idea, but for some reason or another, was shelved.
But I’m talking of brooding about things that happened in the past. The way someone behaved towards you. The promotion you should have received, but didn’t. This is why you should always look forward. The past is static. It’s over and done with. There’s not a thing you can do to change it.
But the present, and the future especially, are always on the move.
Climbing out of bed in the morning, feeling like death because the night before you’d spent the whole evening thinking about the way that woman treated you, and she’s still on your mind, can hardly be called constructive.
“What are you going to do today?”
“Oh, just sit around and brood about the past.”
Oh, very constructive. Keep your thoughts positive and facing forward. I’m not talking about positive thinking. That’s something entirely different, and to a large extent, not even worth considering. No, I mean not allowing negative thoughts to enter your head.
Don’t brood and always look forward.